


Holding Hope

by kumofu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Holding Hands, M/M, Original Monster - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:25:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumofu/pseuds/kumofu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Team Free Will faces another evil and they find a special way to defeat it - holding hands.</p>
<p>Then he held out his hand to Dean, waiting. Dean looked back at Sam who seemed to be very amused.<br/>"Don't look at me, Dean. He's all yours."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding Hope

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my sister](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+sister).



> Although I wrote more than this, this is actually the first thing I publish. Please note that English isn't my first language. I hope you can overlook the worst mistakes and focus on the story. :)
> 
> It's my attempt on the 30 day OTP challenge, starring Destiel. 01 - holding hands. I'd really appreciate comments :)
> 
> Song to the story: Steve Green - holding hands

"Come on, Cas! How long can one fucking phone call take?"

Dean's muscles strained under the weight of a too damn heavy stone ledge and when he looked over to Sam, he wasn't sure how long his brother could hold on. In normal circumstances he would have joked about who was stronger, but right now he was just happy, that he had to fight against supernatural evil his whole life - and got the body for it on the way - and that his brother was a huge fucking moose anyway. Another pair of hunters would probably sit in a dark hole by now. If just Cas could actually help. Sam had the same thought.

"Cas ... sure you can't ...?"

He struggled to get more words out and instead breathed quite heavy. Dean got the uncomfortable feeling that his brother was indeed holding most of the weight, so he tried to lift the damn ledge a little more, making his whole body scream in agony. Meanwhile Cas took his time answering Sam's question, taking away the phone from his ear and watching both of them in turn.

"I told you, the stone is warded against angels. If you insist, I'll touch it, but you may not like the result."

Sam shook his head, now worried that Cas may hold on to that thought and Dean growled.

"Cas! Phone!"

In slow motion Cas looked down at his own hand as if just realising he was still holding something. Then he brought the phone back to his ear and frowned.

"Bobby, you may want to hurry. Sam and Dean are getting restless."

Restless? Dean wished he could throw the damn ledge at Cas. They were fucking dying over here. He wasn't able to say it out loud, but a threatening sound pushed its way out of him and finally Cas seemed to get the message, because he looked a little worried.

"I'm not sure, I want to repeat that, Bobby. Just hurry up ..." Cas' eyes travelled to Dean. "... please."

Dean swallowed and felt the ledge comming down on him harder. Sam grunted.

"Dean!"

He was trying to keep it together, but Cas was a fucking angel with fucking super power angel mojo. Seeing him pleading for help, hit Dean somewhere deep inside, especially because he felt the need to help him. Sure. Because he didn't have enough on his plate. Try to help the celestial being while holding up a mountain. Give it up for Dean Winchester, officially greatest douche in the world. At least Cas started to walk up and down and urged Bobby to really hurry up, which seemed to earn him an answer.  
"He thinks, he has something."

While this should reassure them, Dean started to wobble even more. They were going to die here. He could feel it. The ledge would come down, Cas wasn't able to zap them out and there was no way they could lift this thing up again, because it was a fucking trap. He sighed and Cas looked at him or to be precise, started to read him. His face changed, he seemed to know that Dean started to think about giving up and as always Cas tried to help him. Unfortunately in a Cas kind of way.

"Lift with your legs, Dean."

Something hot shot through Dean's whole buddy, giving him the strength for three words.

"Blow me, Cas!"

Sam sighed next to him and Dean knew exactly why. If Sam had any breath left, he would bitch about his language and that he couldn't talk to people like that. And that he should be nicer to Cas, because clearly he only tried to help. If he would just do that. Instead he raised his eyebrows at Dean's words and started to think. Dean felt like he could hear his brain working and suddenly Cas started to walk over to him. Dean's head flew into Sam's direction and by his face he could tell that they were both thinking the same thing. Cas wouldn't take his words literally. Not now. Not with this. Right? RIGHT?! 

Dean wanted to keep him away, say anything so he wouldn't come closer, but by now even breathing was almost unbearable and talking totally impossible. Luckily for him laughing was out of the question, too, because a hilarious thought popped into his head. He saw the picture in front of his eyes. Himself, holding up the stone, while Cas went down in front of him, starting to suck him off. He trembled. Awesome. 

He lived through stabbing and gun shot wounds, a vampire bite and djinn poison. Sometimes he was almost beaten to death and he escaped possession, but what was going to kill him, was the thought of Cas blowing him. Dean closed his eyes. Destiny was a bitch.

He was about to let go, when something touched him. His eyes flew open again and he saw Cas starring at him with his hand flat on Dean's aching chest and for some reason, he started to feel good. He concentrated on the blue flickering lights in front of him and something warm started to rush through his body. Then he heared Sam gushing out air and finally talking again.

"What the ...?"

His eyes travelled to Dean's arms and finally Dean realised why. Without even noticing it himself, he had lifted the ledge even higher than in the beginning. Cas looked over to Sam.

"Sorry Sam, I can't ..."

Sam shook his head.

"Don't worry. It's fine. Easier."

Cas eased up a little, but brought the phone back to his ear.

"Bobby?"

Finally there seemed to be good news, because Cas was listening for a while.

"And you are sure this will work?"

Dean couldn't hear Bobby through the phone although Cas was very much in his personal space, but whatever Bobby said, it made Cas frown deeply.

"I don't understand that reference."

This time Dean didn't even try to listen in, he knew Bobby was blurting out "Idjit!" and as he was experienced in long unsuccessful talks with Cas about pop culture references, he decided to step in.

"Just do it, Cas!"

Now **he** was starring at Cas, telling him with his gaze that he should obey, just this one time. A second later, the phone vanished in some trenchcoat pocket and Cas' angel blade shot out of his sleave. He focused on Dean's eyes again and in his head Dean started to translate.

'I have to do something. It involves you and pain. I'm sorry.'

Cas brought up the blade and Dean flexed his arm in anticipation of the following pain. Behind them, Sam kind of shrieked.

"Cas?!"

Without hesitation Cas cut along Dean's arm and when the blood started gushing out, the blade dropped and he collected some of the blood on his fingers. Then he moved even closer to Dean, now touching the man with his own chest, only his hand between them while he painted something on the wall behind him. Dean wished he would still be unable to breathe because he started panting. God knows why. And then Cas was speaking, but Dean couldn't understand one word. He didn't even know what language it was. If it was one. Sometimes it was hard to tell if Cas actually formed words or if he was just growling. This sounded like the latter. 

Cas was focused on whatever he drew on the wall with Dean's blood, but Dean still felt a little like the target. Cas' breath coated his shoulder and ear with every word and Dean seemed to feel the vibration of his voice through their touching bodies. He tried to ignore the shiver running up his spine and was glad, when Cas was done. For a second it was dead silent and then something started to roar loudly. Cas' hand suddenly grabbed Dean's shirt and he pulled him away while branches of stone grew out of the sigil and went to the ceiling, pushing against the ledge. Before Dean could comprehend what was happening, Cas dipped his fingers in the blood on his arm again and drew the same sigil next to Sam, growling the strange words again, even more urgent now. 

Sam was visibly struggling under the weight above him and Dean really wanted to help him out, but he couldn't move. Whatever Cas did with his laying on hands, it was gone and he felt more drained than before. Finally another string of branches broke out of the wall and raised up and Sam fell flat down to the ground, even more limp than Dean. Cas was about to move away from him to get to Dean, but Dean shook his head.

"Look. After. Him."

The last thing he saw, was Cas kneeling down beside Sam and laying a hand on his forehead. Sammy would be ok, so Dean passed out.

 

When Dean came to he had no idea where he was. He was lying down, but it couldn't be on solid ground, because he was somehow rocking back and forth. He didn't dare to open his eyes, but despite his situation there was something familiar around him. A scent? Then something else.

"I could take him, you know. For a while. If you want."

Sammy! That was Sammy, so he was fine. Another voice answered and for some reason, Dean felt this vibration again.

"It's fine. You should rest as much as you can."

Dean turned his head a bit, trying to find out where the vibration was coming from and suddenly there was the scent again. Dean wasn't sure what it was excactly, but it calmed him and then something brushed lightly against his cheek. It felt a little rough, like some kind of cloth. Like a ... Dean opened his eyes to be sure. Trenchcoat. Then more things came in sight. A white shirt, not entirely buttoned up and a very badly wrapped tie. Dean realised that this was were the scent was coming from. Cas. But his perspective was all wrong. He was so awfully close. Fuck no!

"What the ...?"

Cas just looked down at him and suddenly Sam's face came in sight, looking down even farther than usual.

"Hey, sleeping beauty."

The realisation hit Dean like a jackhammer. Cas was carrying him.

"Cas, put me down!"

Sam was grinning even wider than before.

"You're sure? You looked quite comfy all snuggled up there."

Fury made its way up through Dean's body and he was about to grab Sam, but he couldn't really move. Cas got him cradled to his chest as if he was his newborn baby and although he didn't participate in Sam's mockery or even adressed the fact that he made a damsel in distress out of Dean, he didn't let go.

"You're still week."

"I'm peachy. Just let me go."

Fortunately Cas gave in with no further discussion, but managed to set down Dean on his left side while Sam was to his right and it occured to Dean that he tried to seperate him from his brother in an attempt to avoid a nasty confrontation. Only because this was so over the top thoughtful Dean let this one slide.

"What happened?"

Sam gave him a checking look from behind his new found protector before answering.

"Well, because you made Cas check me out first -" He paused so Dean could understand what this was. An accusation. "- it took him a while to get to you and by the time he did, you were pretty much out of it."

Cas glanced at Dean, like he could pass out any second again and didn't seem to be pleased with himself.

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"Yeah, uhm, no worries Cas. We're all fine, right? Question is, where are we going?"

While Cas was still tracking his every move, Sam went on.

"We called Bobby again. He has an idea what we are up against, but it may take him a little while to be sure and reception down here is a bitch so we're trying to get back to higher ground until he calls."

"Sounds like a plan."

Dean marched on in front of them like this was all his idea, obviously taking the lead again, which left Cas with studying Sam for a change. He managed to roll his eyes more annoyed than anyone else could and his features shifted into something that Cas knew all to well. Dean called it a "bitchface". It was accompanied by a sigh and then Sam started to follow his brother, waving Cas along.

"Come on, Cas. Let's get to him, before he gets himself in trouble again."

Cas followed him, but unlike Sam he wasn't looking out for possible trouble, because he tried to figure something out. Human emotion was still a puzzle to him and earlier, when he carried Dean, he had made a sound Cas couldn't explain. First he thought it was pain, but by the time Cas had already healed him and he didn't sound hurt. More pleased. A variety of pictures rushed through Cas' brain, all matched up with different sounds Dean made and finally he found what he was looking for. Dean eating pie, making a savoring "mmmmm" sound after putting the first piece into his mouth. 

Cas knew this expression from other humans, too. They did it, when something tasted, smelled or even sounded good. Still he couldn't find the connection. What could Dean be savoring while Cas was carrying him? Especially when he was unconcious. It made no sense. Cas wanted to ask Sam about it, because the younger winchester was much more patient with explaining things to him than his older brother, but then Cas stopped himself, when he remembered what just happened two minutes ago. For some reason he was certain that Dean wouldn't like him to discuss the sounds he made with Sam, even the presumably good ones.

 

There was a seizable tension in the air and Dean was on the verge of bailing out. They had to get all the way back out of the cave to get a good signal again and now they were lingering in the entrance, going on each others nerves without saying it out loud. Sam was walking back and forth, an annoyed sigh here and there when he turned into the other direction. Dean sat on a rock and tried to ignore him, but could feel tension rising in him. 

The only thing holding him down was the fact that Cas stood there like a statue, not moving at all. A perfect contrast to Sam pacing around. Dean just had to make sure he focused on Cas' form and not his face, because whenever he caught a glance from the angel he had the feeling of being carried again and that made his stomache rumble in a confusing way. Luckily for him a sound suddenly broke the silence. His phone. He jumped to his feet and was next to Cas before the angel could react and Dean didn't wait for him but reached into his pocket and had Bobby on the line in a heartbeat.

"Bobby, tell me you have good news."

He put Bobby on speaker and Sam moved closer to listen in on Bobby's answer.

"Dean, is that you?"

"Yeah sure."

"So you're up and running again. That's good."

He sounded way more relieved than his words let on and Dean tried to sound as casual as possible.

"You know me, I don't go down easy."

That earned him a close up bitchface from Sam, so he corrected himself.

"Cas patched me up. Angel on a hunt comes in handy sometimes."

Bobby grunted and Dean couldn't tell if he agreed. Probably not.

"Still you better get out of there. Now."

"Why?"

"Ain't no clue how you two idjits do it, but you're after really nasty again. So, bail!"

Sam's eyebrows went into worrying mode and Dean knew he was considering it. Well, fuck him.  
"No way! We drove here for hours, we almost died in there and Cas even had to ..."

Carry him. But he couldn't bring himself to say that.

"You know, use a phone and shit."

He got two puzzled looks on him now and tried to avoid both of them.

"Just tell us what it is, Bobby!"

They played a silent game of "who breaks first" and Bobby lost.

"In the translation I found it's called a 'Mayalma'. Very old and very bad."

Dean didn't think it was possible, but Cas seemed to grow even more stiff than before. Sam concentrated on Bobby instead.

"How old?"

"From what I could dig up, about Cas' age. So let him spill a few good-old-times-stories and THEN get the hell outta there."

Sam and Dean turned to Cas simultaneously and it could have been funny if they weren't in a life or death situation again. Cas moved his head in a way that could be misinterpreted as a nod.

"I know what a 'Mayalma' is."

He went silent again and Dean spread out his hands in defeat.

"You wanna elaborate?"

"They were the first evil creatures Lucifer twisted into existance. Their sheer presence is defeating."

Sure thing. Sam and Dean shared a look. When was the last time they hunted something cute like a Wendigo? Bobby grunted through the phone.

"Told you."

Cas suddenly shook his head.

"They don't exist anymore."

"They do in my book."

Cas frowned and Sam took over.

"Bobby, what makes you so sure?"

"The picture of the sigils you sent me. These aren't your average angel wardings. They weren't meant to defend, but to kill. Angel rock salt if you ask me."

Something was rumbling in Dean's stomache again. Maybe leaving wasn't such a bad idea after all. And why the hell didn't Cas tell them? He turned around to the still unmoving angel.

"And you didn't see that?"

Cas frowned deeper and pressed his lips together for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was even deeper than usual and had a threatening undertone.

"I was preoccupied with saving your lifes. Dean."

There was definitely a pause between his words and Dean's name and it didn't sound like he was adressing him, but cursing the name. A piercing sensation settled next to the rumbling in his stomache.

"Easy Cas. Just saying you could have hurt yourself."

He made himself smile in a - what he hoped to be - soothing manner and Cas settled a bit. There was silence for a moment until Bobbys voice rattled out of the phone again.

"Are you idjits done with your marital quarrel? I have stuff to do and wanna be sure you're on your way back."

Dean and Cas were still starring at each other in a silent battle, so Sam took over again.

"If it is a ..."

It took him a moment to remember the name.

"Mayalma, shouldn't we take it out?"

"Hell no!"

"Look Bobby, I know it could get hairy ..."

"Hairy? Calm your horses, boy! You've got no idea what you're up against. These things are all kinds of crazy and killing them ain't exactly a picnic."

Maybe it wasn't the best way to respond to this, but Sam risked it.

"So there **is** a way to kill them?"

Bobby was breathing hard, but he seemed to realize that he was talking to his suicidal almost sons and their angel on a leash.

"There is **one** way. Only one, and it ain't peachy."

Dean sighed.

"Is it ever?"

Sam looked over to him and nodded in agreement. There was a first time for everything, but they were still waiting for this one.

"Just tell us, Bobby. Please."

"Those things ain't fighters, easy to kill. Angel blade will do the trick, maybe even your demon knife. The hard part is to get to those sons of bitches."

The 'easy to kill' part rang in Dean's ears. The rest couldn't be much of a problem.

"Get in, stab it, get out. What's the big deal?"

"Don't get cute. You'd be lucky to find it. Their best weapon is hiding. Maybe that's why you're divine soldier thought they weren't around anymore."

Dean glanced over to Cas who looked even more pissed than before. Dean wasn't sure if it was because of Bobby's choice of words or the fact that he and his angel buddies missed a spot. Meanwhile Sam went into hunting mode, starting to think of a strategy.

"So this thing just sits in a hole in the ground all the time? It has to leave at some point, don't you think? Getting pray or something."

Finally Cas took part in the game.

"They are transcendental beings, Sam. They don't have to do anything. And Mayalma are known to practise just this. They find an appealing location and start to ley traps, lots of them. They can even change the form and location of those traps. It's a maze of abominations, twisting your mind, ripping you apart physically and mentally, haunting you every second of your shattered life."

"Don't sugarcoat it, Cas."

Sometimes Dean wasn't sure why he even bothered to say such things. Maybe to force words out of Cas, but this time he just got an irritated look. Sam ignored both of them.

"Let's just look at our options, ok? Bobby, you said there was one way to kill it. So, how do we find what doesn't want to be found?"

Bobby started to recite something out of a book. Similar chibberish to what Cas said when they were trapped. Something like a sigh left Cas when Bobby finished and his posture changed from totally stiff to one of ... Dean wasn't sure. Defense? Sam looked from Cas over to Dean. They both didn't like to be out of the loop.

"What does that mean, Bobby?"

"I came up with 'to lay eyes upon what shall not be found, seek out the divine nectar of an empyrean child and lave your sinful self in its glory until you attain well and truly the senses of the inimitable' - that's a tricky part here, I'd say - 'warrior'."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"In English, please?"

Bobby grunted.

"I ain't doing this for kicks, you know, so anytime you wanna listen ..."

Sam jumped in, before they could really get into it.

"Let me get that straight, Bobby. You're saying, to see a Mayalma, one of us has to take a bath in ...“

He paused for a moment.

„Angel blood?"

Now Dean understood Cas' reaction. Sam turned his head to Cas, but Dean interfered before he could get a word out.

"We're not bleeding him to death, Sam! That's the only way?! Well, then fuck that! We're leaving!"

Sam lifted his heands.

"Ease up, Dean. I don't want him to gush fountains of blood. We're just going over the possibilities here."

Finally Cas spoke, but after a second Dean wished he wouldn't have.

"This may work."

"Shut your cake trap, Cas! I call the shots and I say, we're not doing this."

Cas and Sam tried to respond at the same time, but another voice overpowered them, blurting out of the phone.

"Shut up you idjits! I ain't done yet. I never said you have to redecorate in red. Lore says you have to come in contact with angel blood, mumble some jumble and then keep in touch with the blood. Drops are enough to keep the mojo working."

Dean wanted to cry in frustration.

"And you can't say that **before** I go all Jack Torrance on you?"

"No! Because I enjoy listening to you bitching. These are my golden hours."

They all fell silent for a moment and Dean almost jumped out of his skin when Cas leaned in to speak into the phone, his face just an inch from Dean's.

"Tell me the words, Bobby."

Bobby did and again Dean and Sam didn't understand a thing, but Cas seemed pleased.

"Thank you. This will suffice."

Dean wished he could be that certain and Bobby seemed to think the same.

"That better works."

That must have been what they all were thinking and after they said their goodbyes to Bobby, Dean, Sam and Cas turned back to the cave entrance. Dean rubbed his hands together as if he couldn't wait to start while he fought the intention to just grab the angel and his brother and get the hell out of there.

 

"So, we're doing this."

Sam nodded.

"Yeah."

Dean lifted one hand for a round of rock, paper, scissors, but Sam just looked at him.

"What are you doing?"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Dude, one of us has to slay that biblical son of bitch."

Sam was clearly about to object, but they got sidetracked as Cas let something skid out of his sleave again. It wasn't the angel blade but a cutter. He pushed the blade out and brought it to his hand without hesitation. With one fast movement he drove it across his palm, leaving a deep cut that started to bleed immediately. Then he held out his hand to Dean, waiting. Dean looked back at Sam, who seemed to be very amused.

"Don't look at me, Dean. He's all yours."

For whatever reason, that made Dean's stomache rumble again and Cas raised his eyebrows in question.

"Dean?!"

How can you ask a question, make a plea and give a fucking order at the same time? And there had to be mojo involved, because no one - not even Sammy - could make him do something by just saying his name. Except Cas. Dean sighed and took Cas' hand. He could feel the warm blood and in an instant his own was rushing through his body while a tickling sensation ran from his hand up his chest, making his hair stand on the back of his neck and went down his spine. 

Just then he realised that he shouldn't feel anything, because Cas hasn't even started yet. Maybe he didn't have to. Maybe the blood of an angel has some strange effect on humans anyway. Then he remembered that he touched Cas' blood before. Not intentionally, but still. It never did to him what just happened.

"Are you ready?"

Cas was staring and him and Dean swallowed.

"Sure, fire away."

The angel started to talk and Dean let his eyes travel further down so he didn't have to look at the blue stare. Unfortunately that made him look at Cas' throat. He saw the movement of his vocal chords and remembered the vibration while Cas was carrying him. And then another picture crawled its way into his head. Sam biting some demon bitch's throat, drinking her blood. What happens if you drink angel blood? Not that he wanted to. God no. But it was a valid question. One he couldn't ask right now. Definitely not in front of Sammy.

"Dean, you're alright?"

"What? Yeah, fine."

Sam had his puppy eyes on and looked really worried. Not good. Dean smiled. "I'm good."

He dared to look at Cas again.

"Good to go?"

Cas just nodded, but Sam held Dean's arm.

"Do you feel anything?"

Dean took a moment to check it out, but there was nothing special. Only the warm and fuzzy feeling he had since Cas took his hand, but that couldn't be the spell.

"No, don't think so."

Maybe it didn't work? He turned to Cas.

"What exactly should happen anyway?"

"You can hear and see the Mayalma. After you found it of course. And you should be able to avoid its traps."

Dean lifted one eyebrow.

"Should?"

Cas tilted his head just a fraction and Dean knew that this was the only answer he would get. So what the hell?

"Ok, then let's find Maya."

The first step was fine, the second not so good and a few steps into the cave, Dean felt like he was burning up from inside. Walking around hand in hand with Cas was nothing he would have ever imagined. He waited for Sam to joke about it, but suddenly Cas just stopped and Dean and Sam shifted in fighting stance.

"What?"

Cas turned to Sam and offered him his hand.

"Take my hand, Sam."

Dean fought a firce battle against his laughter, because Sam's facial expression was priceless and his voice got a very unmanly high pitch.

"What?! Why?!"

"I'm not entirely sure how those traps work. We better stay together as close as possible."

Easy for him to say. Personal space and all. Dean wasn't keen to drag his moose of a brother around, too, but he also didn't want him to feel uncomfortable.

"Can't he take my hand?"

Sam bitchfaced him, because the question explained his problem and he didn't want to hurt Cas' feelings. The angel frowned, obviously considering Dean's suggestion. Then he shook his head.

"That would be unwise. Dean should take the lead or one of us could walk into a trap anyway."

He held his hand up again.

"This makes more sense."

Dean watched his brother in fascination. When Sam first met Cas he was the one holding out his hand to the angel and he made him take it. What was his problem now? Sam closed his eyes for a moment, but took Cas' hand. They stood there, adapting to the situation and then Dean started walking again. Cas followed close to him, dragging along a very unhappy Sam. Maybe it was his face or the whole stupid situation, but Dean couldn't hold it in any longer. He started to laugh. Hard. Sam regarded him with a displeased look.

"What's so funny?"

Dean tried to catch his breath and wiped away tears with his free hand.

"Dude, look at us. Two hunters, their names known by any demon in hell and an angel of the lord, fierce warrior of god on their way to kill the mother of all evil. And you know how? By holding hands."  
Dean made a face like someone spit on his burger and Sam realised he was right. It **was** funny.

"New plan, let's conquer the world with kindness."

Dean just chuckled, but Cas tilted his head like a puppy who heared a new sound for the first time, freaking Sam out in the process. Without thinking about it, Dean squeezed Cas' hand a little bit.

"You're ok?"

Cas looked at him, his whole face brighter than ever, his eyes shining like the sky on a clear day and the corners of his mouth twiching. It was as good as a smile and his voice was filled with a joy Dean couldn't comprehend.

"Sam's right. That's a good plan."

Dean shared another look with Sam, who was just grinning now, simply amused by their friend and suddenly Dean felt like a Dad playing angel with his child and wife. It was weird, but down on earth sometimes Cas was just that. A baby in a trenchcoat.

 

They were back in the room where all the misery started and Dean looked at the damn stone ledge that almost smushed them to death. The stone branches Cas created were still holding it up above the crypt and Dean grinned at Cas.

"Way to go, Cas. You must have worked up quite the mojo to keep it going like this."

It was actually meant as a simple compliment, but as it often went, Cas wasn't pleased at all. His face became stone like the branches and he let go of Sam to bring his hand up, his palm pushing into the direction of the ledge. And then Dean's blood was on fire. In his body and on the walls in the crypt. Flames were licking along the sigil Cas had painted earlier, leaving dark marks in the stone and suddenly the branches vanished and the ledge collapsed into the crypt with an ear-splitting sound. Dean tugged at Cas' arm while he tried to cover his ears, but couldn't get his arm up. Sam had better luck, holding his whole head in his frying pan sized hands. When the dust settled in the crypt, he let go and started talking to loud.

"What the hell, Cas?!"

Dean tried to shake away the ringing in his ears and turned to Cas, who didn't answer.

"Yeah man, what was that all about?"

Cas looked from Sam to Dean.

"We shouldn't leave anything behind that could be used for a spell. Not here of all places."

Sam's annoyance washed visibly away, while he tapped at his left ear.

"Next time, a little heads up maybe?"

"Yes, I wasn't prepared for that. Not at all."

With these words Dean focused on Cas and got a questioning look, that quickly shifted to understanding. Dean wasn't talking about the damn ledge, but the fact that Cas went 'mojo all in' while holding his hand. He felt like recovering from a feaver and something like electricity still tingled all over his body. Not that it was a bad sensation. He could have liked it, but the first shock took away most of the fun.

"I'm sorry, Dean."

Dean heared those words a thousand times by now, like Cas was a broken record, always jammed at the same spot. He didn't really acknowledge it any more, but this time Cas sounded sincere and he wasn't apologizing for the noise. The bad part was that his words were accompanied with a rare expression on his face. His lower lip tugged down just a fraction while is eyesbrows went up the same amount while his eyes grew even wider, almost glistening as if he could cry any minute. Sam's puppy look paled beside this. Fuck. Not. Natural. At. All. There was mojo involved. Big time. He just shook his head at Cas, because he had to get his voice back and looked at the crypt.

"So, ground zero. Where to go from here?"

Sam rolled his eyes at him and Dean was short of sticking his tongue out at him, because political correctness was really not the issue right now. Cas answered his question full on Cas-style.

"Lead the way. We will follow you."

He made it sound like he was their supreme commander and they would blindly follow him into battle. Well, which probably was the case, because Sam also observed him now as if he was waiting for orders. Another heat wave rushed over him and he wanted to walk it off, but Cas stopped him and held his hand out to Sam. Full frontal bitchface.

"This is soo ..."

He didn't finish, because Dean gave him a diabolical grin. The guy dragged demons out of their meat suits with will power alone and he could maybe lift Cas with one arm just for kicks. Why did he go all Sissy over a little angel touching? Sammy must have read the question on his face, because he took Cas' hand a little more forceful than necessary and brought his chin up deviantly.

"Let's just go already."

"Your wish is my command, Samantha."

Dean could feel the daggers shooting out of Sam's eyes and into his back, but he didn't care. As much fun as this was, he didn't plan to stay the whole week. They moved on carefully, because now they were in unknown territory, but nothing happened at all. No traps, no monsters, no nothing. After a while of lumbering through the semidarkness of the cave, Sam sighed and whispered at Dean.

"Dean?"

"What?"

"Stop it."

Dean turned back to his brother.

"Stop what?"

"You're humming Metallica again."

Dean raised his eyebrows.

"I did?"

Sam gave him the affirmative bitchface and Cas formed it into words.

"You created resonance of air in your throat, producing sounds which resulted in a melody."

Both Dean and Sam looked at him with blank expressions, urging him to say more.

"I'm not familiar with it."

Sam sneered at Cas and Dean.

"Trust me, it's Metallica. I'm familiar with it. **Too** familiar."

"Why are we whispering?"

Sam opened his mouth to retort and closed it again when he realised that Dean didn't say anything bad.

"Because ..."

He stretched out his arms and Dean got his point. The place was creepy. They came here to fight, not shuffling around in the dark, literally holding hands. Sam sighed again.

"Shouldn't you feel something by now?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders and Cas intervened.

"I think he does."

Dean swallowed. Yeah, he had hot flashes like an old chick in her menopause, but he was still pretty sure that this was not his evil son of a bitch radar.

"I don't know, Cas."

"We didn't walk into any traps."

Sam pointed at Cas.

"Exactly. There should be traps. Maybe it's not a Maya-whatever."

Cas tilted his head.

"There are. Dean's avoiding them."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"How can you be sure?"

"We walked past four traps already."

Now Cas looked surprised at both of them.

"You didn't notice."

It was half a question. Sam held out his arms.

"Notice what? I don't see or smell anything and the last thing I heared was Dean's humming."

Dean nodded.

"I'm not sure I'm avoiding anything. I don't feel different at all."

Cas frowned, turning Dean around and a blistering heat shot into his hand again. Sam's eyes slid to their locked hands in shock, because they were glowing. Dean couldn't concentrate on that. In front of him was a pit out of hell, full with slithering, thorny things he couldn't even describe. As fast as the image appeared, it was gone again. Dean pointed to the spot in front of them.

"Fuck, Cas! What was that?"

For some reason Cas looked quite pleased.

"A trap." 

Dean looked down at their hands. No glowing, no heat.

"What did you do?"

"I focused your vision."

"Why didn't you do that from the start?"

"I can't maintaine it for long."

"It drains your batteries?"

"Yes. And very quickly."

Sam examined the floor with a puzzled expression.

"What did you see?"

"Jefferson Starships."

"What?!"

"Honestly, I don't know. Better question, if you can see them Cas, why are we stumbling around holding hands?"

"I don't see them."

"You just showed them to me."

Cas took a deep breath.

"I know they are there, but my vessel isn't able to comprehend them anymore than Sam. And you make me aware of them." Suddenly he holds up their hands. "With this."

Sam swallowed hard.

"So, the last half hour we were walking past monsters and biblical evil."

"Yes."

Dean burried his face in his free hand.

"Awesome. And you didn't tell us, because ...?!"

"It is not of import."

"Not of ...?! Are you fucking kidding me?"

Sam lifted a hand to stop Dean.

"Let it go, Dean.“

„Sammy, please don't tell me what to do.“

It came out more harsh than Dean planned to say it and Sam answered in the same way.

"And why shouldn't I tell you what to do?“

"Because I'm in charge.“

"Yeah? How's that working out for you?“

"What's that supposed to mean?“

Sam gave him the ultimate bitchface.

"We're stumbling around here and you have no idea what you're doing. You don't even see more than I do.“

Dean held up his and Cas' hands.

"Be my guest.“

Sam didn't answer and that made Dean really mad. He hated it when Sam started a fight just to switch to the silent treatment at one point.

„Oh I see. You can't do it. Why Sammy? Let me guess. The demon boy is afraid of touching an angel.“

Sam's face became very red in a very short time.

"At least I don't need the constant help of an angel to barely function.“

Dean's face colored even deeper than Sam's.

"Yeah, why ask a friend for help when you can just take a sip of blood instead?!“

"Why trust someone who wants to fight against her own evil when you can just kill her? Oh yeah, and than lie about it.“

"Just take the lead then, Sam! Instead of touching you could just drink some angel blood.“

Suddenly a flash of light appeared before their eyes and Sam and Dean felt a stinging pain rushing through their bodies like an electric shock. They were short of collapsing to the ground, both breathing hard, while trying to find out what the hell happened. It dawned on them in the same moment, because Cas stood totally still between them, but there was something very wrong with him. For a moment Dean was sure he saw wings again and Sam inhaled the air a little too fast. There was a sizzling noise in the air and Cas seemed to stand even taler than Sam. But what both Winchesters made them hold their breath was Cas' face. 

He was angry. And they weren't talking stuck-in-traffic-pissed or annoyed, because he missed his favorite show on TV. Even Sam's and Dean's quarrel about long gone mistakes paled in comparison. Cas was let's-whipe-out-Sodom-and-Gomorrah furious. They managed to incur the wrath of an angel. Well done, boys. And then Cas's voice rolled over them like thunder, the cave actually shaking, bringing back bad memories of the time when Cas tried to talk to Dean for the first time.

"Enough!“

It was an interesting command, when you thought about the fact, that neither Dean nor Sam could move an inch or even attempt to talk. There was just too much pain and Dean didn't know about Sam, but he was in fear. Cas was fucking scary. Dean tried to talk, but couldn't form words. The only thing coming out of his mouth was a pitched noise like a cat in a blender. And then the pain was gone. 

Still Dean was bent over, trying hard to hold himself up and just breathe and Sam didn't look any better. From what they just experienced it maybe wasn't a good idea to talk back to the angel, but the words rushed out of Dean's mouth.

"Dammit Cas, that fucking hurt.“

Cas' voice rushed over him like a tsunami, down his spine, making him shudder.

"It is nothing compared to what you will feel when the two of you continue on this path. Seek forgiveness and grant it or one day you will destroy each other.“

A cold stone settled in Dean's stomache, because Cas didn't sound like he was stating his opinion, but a vision of the truth. Sam's voice travelled to Dean, much weaker than he ever heared it before.

"I didn't mean it, Dean. It's just … I'm sorry.“

Dean managed to look past a still very frightening Cas at his brother.

„Me too, Sammy. Me too.“

They just stood in silence for a while, especially because Cas almost toasted their asses and they needed a moment to recover. At least Cas seemed to shrink a little and the air didn't crack anymore, so Dean tried to get them back on track.

"Are we good to go?“

Sam nodded.

"Yeah. Just, you know, try to watch our asses, ok?“

That would be much easier, if he could really see anything, but he did what he always does when Sammy asks him to be careful. He lied.

"Sure. I'll watch out for you, Sammy.“

 

They walked in silence and Dean checked himself every few minutes to be sure not to hum again. That was all he could do, because still he didn't feel any different and he didn't want to think about the traps they may pass. After a while they stood before their next problem. There were two tunnels leading away from the main path and Sam glanced over to Dean.

„Which one?“

Dean was about to ask Cas to mojo his vision again, but the angel told him how much it drained his batteries and then he had the little outburst. It would be better to let Cas recharge in case they found this Mayathing after all. So Dean did what he always did. He went with his gut.

"Right.“

Sam opened his mouth and Dean knew he wanted to ask if Dean was sure, but then he just nodded and Dean walked into the tunnel, his little dugs behind him, when suddenly something happened to his hand again. He looked down and couldn't suppress the panic, but than he realised that Cas squeezed his hand like he did before. He looked up and Cas' anger was gone. His eyes were bathing him in apprecciation and Dean had no clue why. Normally he would have just shrugged it off, because it was Cas. He was an angel and he was weird. But then he realised how good it felt. Cas' gaze sparked something in him. It wasn't exactly a fire, but something like a candle. Just a little light and warmth that could become stronger if he would take care of it instead of burrying it like he did with everything else. 

For the first time in a very long time he felt hope and then he remembered what Cas told him that night in the barn where they first met. 'Good things **do** happen, Dean.' He didn't believe it back then and he told Cas just that, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. Of course a lot of shit went down since then and Dean was sure as hell that they were walking towards a lot of different shit right now, but there were good things. A worrying Bobby, who always cared for them. His brother, who always tried to do better, to help him, to take care of him for a change. And there was Cas. Maybe Sammy was right and he needed the angel to barely function. So what? It's not like he asked for it. After Cas little mojo party back there Dean was pretty sure he couldn't influence at all what Cas was doing. Cas made himself his guardian angel and even Dean wasn't stupid enough to say no to that. 

He let the thought sink in, accepting the fact hat he needed help and that he could trust the angel. The flame inside of him glimmered a little brighter and the warmth started to spread. Dean held in a sigh, but savored the feeling. He wouldn't fight it. Not this. Instead he had to take care of problem number two. A fucking wall at the end of the tunnel. Dean looked up and could make out something above. If he was right the tunnel went on, they only had to get there.

"I think we can climb it.“

The wall wasn't even but had a lot of cracks and little ledges. Dean put his foot down on one of them and checked if it would hold his weight. So far so good. Now he just needed help. Time to test his new found faith.

"Cas, can you give me a hand?“

Sam chuckled and Dean sighed.

"Shut up, Samantha. He knows what I mean, right Cas?“

Cas didn't answer, but gripped his hand a little tighter and started to lift him up. For a moment it felt like he was helping him into a carriage and for some reason that sparked the flame in him, but then he had to move on up the wall and couldn't think about that. He held his free hand up, trying to reach the top of the wall while Cas followed him on another ledge. The next moment made him remember again that Cas was in fact not human, because he pushed him up in one movement without even breathing harder. Dean rolled over and had to stretch down to hold on to Cas, pulling him up while Sam pushed from below. It was kind of tricky, but as soon as Cas was beside Dean, it was a piece of cake. 

Cas pulled and Sam was almost flying up the wall like a rag doll. When he landed next to them Sam and Dean exchanged a look. They should **really** try to stay on Cas' good side in the future. It took them a little to get up from the floor which brought a faint memory back to Dean. This one time he played Twister with two blonds … He shook his head when he looked at Cas and Sam. Definitely not the same thing. He almost laughed about himself, but then something changed. It felt like his whole reality shifted. The walls had different colors and they seemed to move. The air was warmer and there was a little breeze, carrying a nasty smell. And then there was sound. A slow knocking like a drum far away. Dean didn't realise he was standing there like a statue until he heard Sam's voice.

"Dean? You're alright?“

No, he wasn't. Nothing was alright. He was afraid. Nothing could make him go one more step. They should just turn around and leave. He was about to do just that when another sensation added into the mix of overwhelming impressions crushing down on him. But this one was different. It didn't reach for the fear and guilt, but for the flame in him. For the good things. The hope. There was something on his skin. It was warm. On his hand. He couldn't look down, because he was unable to move, but he could feel the touch. Cas was still holding his hand, but his thumb moved up to Dean's wrist, going around in tiny circles and tracing the line of his vein. Now Dean realised his puls. His blood rushed through him in a wild frenzy and for a moment he stopped breathing. He thought he might just pass out when Cas' hand closed tighter around his own, holding him. And then Dean could feel it. 

The blood, still leaking out of the wound with every beat of Cas' heart. Dean shouldn't be able to grasp that, but he felt every drop and started to hear every beat. He could feel Cas' pulse that was so different from his own. Steady. Calm. Safe. He needed it. While the smell grew unbearable and the walls seemed to close in on them, Dean was sure he had to focus. This was just another trap. An illusion. He had to fight it, find his way back to reality. He needed … Cas. Feel the warmth. Listen to the pulse. Feel the touch. Listen to the blood. The drums in the distance became louder, surely to draw his attention. He couldn't allow that. He needed … _'Cas! Help me!'_ Fear started to crawl into him, but then he felt something else. Vibration. _'I'm here, Dean.'_ Calm. _'It's coming for me, Cas. I need you.' 'It tries to take you away. Come back to me, Dean.' 'How?' 'Trust yourself. You will find the right path.'_ Left or right? … Right. It was just one little step, but it made all the difference. He could feel Cas beside him, so he came even closer and then there was a connection. Their shoulders touched, their hands still together and while Dean was shivering now, Cas didn't move an inch. Steady. _'You're doing good, Dean. I can feel you. Follow that path. Find me.'_

The drums started to beat so fast it was just one disturbing noise, the walls started to shake and dust and stone was raining down on them. Dean tried to ignore it and focused on the remains of Cas' voice echoing in his head. That's when the screams started. Tortured souls shrieking in endless pain, praying for forgiveness and begging for release. This Mayathing was good and Dean knew he should be afraid, because this was hell. What that evil son of a bitch couldn't know was that he's been there. And then he got out. His shoulder was touching Cas right where his handprint was burned into his flesh. The angel had gripped him tight and raised him from perdition. He did it once. He would do it again. 'Cas!' 'Dean.' His shoulder seemed to burst into flames and the world twitched again. No more screams, no smell, no drums, no hell. Safe.

"Dean, you're alright?“

It sounded exactly like before and Dean wasn't sure if Sam asked him again or he went into some kind of timeloop. But it didn't matter, he was back.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?“

He noticed that he wasn't really standing straight so he pulled back his shoulders for a less defeated posture. Sam left out a little chuckle.

"You stood up, bumped into Cas and then you were just standing there.“

"How long?“

Sam's eyebrows narrowed.

"I don't know. 10 seconds? Sure you're ok?“

10 seconds. He felt like he fought for hours to get back. Maybe this was a little version of hell. He looked to Cas and wanted to thank him, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Sam didn't need to know. But to be fair, he didn't need to say anything. Cas knew, like he always did. His thumb tapped at his hand like waking him up and Dean smiled at Sam.

"Well, you will be pleased to hear that the mumbo jumbo kicked in.“

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You can see it?“

"Guess we're not close enough for that, but it smells like shit and it's loud.“

"Loud? How?“

"Drumming.“

Sam tilted his head which was a very odd movement not coming from Cas.

"Drumming like …?“

"I don't know, Sammy. It's not exactly Bonham and Copeland. Maybe it beats some poor bastard's head against some wall.“

This idea didn't please Sam at all while it was a somewhat good picture for Dean. After what he just saw, a little smash and dash wouldn't be too bad. Better than fucking with his head.

"Let's just get it over with.“

They were moving much quicker now, because Dean knew what he was doing. Not that he saw that much and the drumming was still faint, but he was – like Cas called it – aware of the Maya. It tried to get out of sight and hide again, but with every drop of Cas' blood, Dean sensed it. On their way were a few turns and even crossroads, but Dean always knew where to go without thinking about it. And then the world exploded. The sound was crippling and Dean fell to his knees, Sam's voice following him.

"Woah, what's wrong?!“

Cas lifted Dean up again and kept walking.

"We're near.“

He dragged Dean along, but Sam tried to stop him.

"Wait, can't you see what's happening to him? We need to prepare at least.“

Cas shook his head and forced them both to move along.

"There is no time. It grows stronger.“

Sam's worry was leaking out of his body.

"But Dean ...“

He couldn't finish, because he caught a defeating look from Cas.

"This thing devours doubt, Sam. You want to help your brother? Start believing in him.“

It wasn't easy, because Dean didn't seem to be there at all. His expression was totally blank and he didn't make a step without Cas forcing him. But then Sam understood. If this thing really ate human emotions than his brother was a fucking feast. And he wasn't any better. He tried to concentrate on Bobby's words. This thing was easy to kill, just one tiny stab, they only needed to get there. He stopped working against Cas and walked with him and the tunnel before them grew wider and wider until they moved in a huge cave. A cave that couldn't be there at all. Sam may not be a geological genius, but the span of this room was physically impossible and it didn't fit the territory they passed outside. A monster that changes reality. Perfect. Dean must be furious right now. Like on cue Dean started to laugh.

"How do you like that you fucking son of a bitch?! Twisting my brain? Yeah, nice try. How about some lovely childhood memories? I dare you, dig in there.“

It was totally inappropriate, but Sam had to smile and he couldn't believe he ever doubted Dean. His brother always kept on fighting even if it killed him. Again. A wave of emotion rushed through Sam and he hoped it would reach Dean, maybe travelling through Cas, letting Dean know that he was there for him. It was a foolish thought, but suddenly Dean turned his head and looked at him.

"Sammy ...“

Sam would never know what he wanted to say, because the cave started to shake, huge pieces of stone raining down from the ceiling. Sam looked down, shielding his eyes from the rubble, when something cought his attention. He couldn't really see it, but it was there. He let go of Cas' hand and shoved him with both hands, putting as much strength in it as possible. Cas stumbled into Dean, pushing him a few steps away in the process and the ground between Cas and Sam opened up. Sam jumped into the other direction, trying to find shelter behind a rock on the ground, but it wasn't enough. The whole fucking cave came down now. Sam watched how Cas dragged Dean under some ledge while his brother held a hand out to him. It was the last thing he saw, before one piece of stone hit his head and sent him to nirvana.

"Sammy, no!“

Dean tried to get to his brother, but the floor opened in front of them and Cas held him in a stone tight grip.

"It can't reach him while he's unconcious. It's better this way, Dean.“

Dean wasn't sure how a passed out Sam with fucking rocks raining down on him could be „better“, but he was too afraid to get angry.

"Fuck Cas, tell me what to do!“

"Find it.“

He didn't need to look for it. It was there. Dean leaned out of their shelter to see it. The worst idea he had so far. Maybe in his entire life. It wasn't just ugly or disturbing. It was beyond imagination. A huge pile of fucking crap. But then it started to change. It seemed the Maya enjoyed his idea of childhood memories, because there was his mother burning on the ceiling, screaming in pain. Dean gasped and the scene changed. Every second there was another horrifying picture. People he knew and loved, tortured and killed, pure agony on their faces.

After what seemed like hours it wasn't just memories anymore. There was Bobby, going up in flames, telling him, that it was his fault. All of it. After this, there was Sam, disgust on his face, lifting up his hand like he was trying to exorcise Dean with his mind. 'You are not my brother.“ He started to laugh diabolically. 'Die!' But Dean didn't. He fought the visions. Bobby was save at home and Sammy wasn't exactly peachy, but he was still his brother and that would never change. The scene switched again and Dean saw himself in the worst possible way. He was on his knees, defenceless, beaten and bloody, in fear and alone. Until someone walked up to him. It was Cas, looking down on him, his face full of hatred.

"You don't deserve to be saved.“

He lifted his hand and Dean could feel his insides crumble, but tried to reason with his friend.

"Cas, you're an angel.“

Sparks of ice seemed to pore out of Cas' eyes, piercing him.

"Angels are warriors of god. I'm a soldier. I'm not here to perch on your shoulder.“

Dean could feel tears running down his face. It hurt so much. Not only his body, but his soul.

"Please, Cas.“

Suddenly the angel was directly in front of him and hit him. Dean fell down to the ground, a searing pain shooting through his whole body. He couldn't breathe and Cas' voice was ear-splitting.

"You should have shown me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. And I can throw you back in.“ He hit Dean again, before grabbing him by his collar and dragging him up, whispering close to his ear. „And I will. As soon as I'm done with you.“

Cas' breath coated his shoulder and ear. Again. A memory flashed before Dean's eyes. It was the same feeling he had back in the damn crypt, when Cas painted the sigil on the wall behind them. To protect Dean. Not to hurt him. Pictures appeared in Dean's mind. He saw himself sticking the knife in Cas' chest and the angel just pulling it out again, not even angry. He remembered being angry and insulting Cas on various occasions, but Cas never responded in the same way. He just tried to help, to understand and more often than not he apologized even if it wasn't really his fault. For fucks sake, he carried Dean around like a baby and was maybe the only thing that kept him sane these days. Cas would never hurt him. With that thought Cas' grip on his collar loosened and Cas faded, suprise on his face.

"Dean?“

Suddenly Dean was back behind the rock next to Cas who had his free hand on his shoulder, pouring warmth into him. Dean realised the cave didn't shake anymore and the rocks stopped falling.

"Dean?! Can you hear me?“

Although he could, Dean shook his head.

"Cas, it tries to run. It's fading. I can't see it anymore.“

Before he finished the last words, Cas put something into his hand. It was the cutter he used to make himself bleed. Dean looked at Cas in confusion.

"What …?“

Cas held up his hand.

"Cut me.“

"But ...“

He was hit by a pleading stare.

"Dean?!“

One word. Thousand emotions and just one possible action. Obey. There was a lot of mojo involved. For sure.

Dean brought out the knife and cut along Cas' other hand. If he knew what would happen next, maybe he wouldn't have done it. Cas put his hand on Deans forehad, tracing a line down his cheek and chin, moving up on the other side and smearing blood on him, even covering his nose. As if that wasn't bad enough, Cas' hand slid down his throat and his fingers grabbed his shirt, ripping it open so he could get blood on his chest. 

This happened so quick, Dean didn't have the slightest chance to object and Cas pulled up his shirt and his hand trailed over his stomach, travelling from one hipbone to the other. Heat rushed into Dean and he sincerely feared for his pants, but instead Cas rolled up Dean's sleeves, trying to get as much blood as possible on his arms. Than he finally looked at him again.

"Better?“

It was hard to answer without any breath left and if – because of some miracle – they would survive this, Dean would need to have a serious talk with Cas about the use of the word „better“. But for now, he just answered.

"Yes. I feel it.“  
He braced himself and looked over the stone again. As soon as his eyes met the Mayalma, it formed a shape again. Cas. „I looks like you.“

Cas turned his head to him and for some reason he looked pleased. In a smooth motion he brought out the angel blade and turned it around in a little toss to hand it to Dean.

"Even more reason for this to work.“

Dean wasn't sure if he was so comfortable with stabbing Cas, but to be fair, he did it once. He would do it again.

"Ready?“

He looked at Cas and while he asked the question it wasn't so much about getting confirmation, but more for his own sake. It was a last glance at his angel before all hell broke loose. Cas nodded and without warning he stood up and brought Dean up with him. A loud shriek crushed Dean's ears and the Mayalma twitched, keeping its shape, but smoke and something like tentacles leaking out of it. The big steamy pile of evil was furious and finally Dean understood why. It wasn't about him, but the angel at his side. Cas walked in its direction, but Dean made him stop.

"It wants you.“

Cas turned, looking over his shoulder with a too familiar frown.

"I know.“

Of course he knew. He was the angel after all. His kind killed those freaky things God knows how long ago. What Dean saw in front of him was maybe the last remaining Mayalma in existence and he brought its archenemy right to its doorstep. Well, wasn't that nice. At least there was just one way to go from here.

"Fine Cas, you take Sammy and get out of here.“

He kept an eye on Malmy to make sure it didn't attack, so it took him a while to notice that Cas watched him. There was a question in his gaze, mixed with a hint of frustration.

"Dean …“

No way. Not this time. He wouldn't let himself get mojoed again. He looked away from Cas, deliberately avoiding those blue piercing eyes which could make him do things he didn't want to do.

"Forget it, Cas. We're not arguing here. It's my turn, ok? You risked you're life a lot of times to often for me and Sam. Now I return the favor.“

"You don't need to ...“

"Go. That's final.“

Of course Cas didn't give up that easily. The damn angel was so fucking stubborn.

"I can't just disappear. You can't see it anymore if I let go.“

Dean chuckled.

"Don't play stupid with me. You bathed me in your blood. That will do long enough to get it.“

"You don't know that.“

This took too long. The Mayalma moved closer and Dean stepped in front of Cas, holding up the angel blade.

"Not so fast, Chuckles. You want the angel? Well, you can have him. Over my dead body.“

Fake Cas' eyes glanced at the angel blade. The damn thing was considering it. Dean didn't look back to the real Cas, but whispered.

"Get out.“

"I't won't get me. You will protect me.“

He will protect him? Fucking crazy angel. A bad feeling crawled through Dean's stomache.

"Cas, no.“

"I trust you.“

And with this, he was gone. Dean looked down at his hand and felt naked. Exposed. Like someone just ripped out his soul. But that wasn't the worst thing. He wanted to pray that Cas listened to him and was on his way out with Sam, but that would be foolish. He knew the angel too damn good. He took a deep breath and looked up again. The Mayalma took a step forward and Dean raised the blade, but than Cas appeared at the other side of the cave. The Mayalma turned around immediately and Cas spread his arms out, showing how defenceless he was.

"What are you waiting for? Come on!“

The Mayalma became a blur of shadow, smoke and whatever those slimy black straps were and it was too damn fast. It reached Cas before Dean realised what happened and clawed into the angel's arms. The mere thought of something like the Mayalma touching an angel was bothering enough, but the fact that it was **his** angel infuriated Dean. The flame inside him bursted and grew into a bonfire. He was pretty sure he never moved so fast in his life and suddenly he was behind that distgusting mush of evil as it tried to sink long fangs into the angel. Too fucking late.

At a moment's notice the simple bonfire grew into a forest fire and pushed Dean over the edge. The tip of the angel blade reached the back of fake Cas who went still. The seconds dragged on and Dean could feel its fear, he was intoxicated by it and something in him wanted to savor it to the last possible moment, but than his eyes met Cas'. He was really an angel, because even now he didn't want to let the creature in front of him suffer. Dean pushed the blade forward and had to close his eyes. It wasn't light but a deep dark that bursted out of the Mayalma, making his eyes sting. 

He kept them shut until Cas' voice brought him back.

"It's gone.“

Dean opened his eyes and Cas was standing in front of him like nothing happened. There wasn't even blood on his hands. Dean laught, finally giving in to relieve.

"Cas, you stupid son of a bitch. Never do that again.“

Cas tilted his head, daring Dean to do something stupid. He thought about it. Right now he was short of kissing the fucking angel, just to do something about the fire in him, but then something stung him deep down. Sammy! He turned around on the spot, running back to his brother and hovering over him.

"Hey! Sammy, come on. Wake up.“

Dean didn't hear him, but Cas was beside him in an instant and put two finger to Sam's head. Sam didn't wake up. Dean swallowed.

"Cas?!“

"Don't worry. He's fine, but he needs to recover.“

Dean sighed and sunk down on a huge rock that fell down too damn near to Sammy for his liking.

"How long?“

"Several hours.“

Dean laid down the angel blade in front of his feet and stretched his shoulders.

"Ok, then we wait.“

"I could take us back to Bobby's. It won't hurt him.“

While shaking his head, Dean tapped on the rock beside him.

"Sit down.“ Cas frowned and Dean smiled at him. „Please?“

He may not have angel mojo, but there's gotta be something, because Cas complied. Dean looked at him.

"It was difficult to heal him, right?“

It was almost funny to see how the angel got more and more uncomfortable under his gaze.

"Yes.“

"Yeah, because your batteries are pretty drained, right?“

"Yes.“

"Because of that thing?“

Cas nodded.

"I told you, it's presence is defeating. Even more for an angel.“

"Which means you're not totally back in the game yet.“

"Yes.“

He sounded like he was on the verge of apologizing again, so Dean smiled again.

"No problem, Cas. That just means we have to wait.“

Cas frowned.

"I wasn't lying. It could be hours.“

Dean chuckled.

"Yeah, and you know what? I don't care. I just wanna sit here, next to you and enjoy the fact that we killed this thing. Sounds like a good plan to you?“

He looked at the angel and Cas' face lit up like a christmas tree. Dean would never ever in whatever circumstances admit it, but he looked stunningly gorgeous.

"Yes, that actually sounds like a very good plan.“

 

The forest fire was gone, but the candle was burning, brighter than before. He would take good care of it. And he decided to start right now. His hand moved over to the angel and he carefully grabbed his hand. Cas didn't even look at him, but entwined his fingers with Dean's. In that moment Dean prayed that Sammy would take his time with waking up, and he did. They sat there for hours. Hand in hand. Together.


End file.
